ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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