At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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