so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
