Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
