The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
