Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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