If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
