It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
