In the future we'll all be gay
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
