I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
