We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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