Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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