Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
