Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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