You can't motorboat a personality
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
