Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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