You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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