Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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