Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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