What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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