i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
