how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
