My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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