She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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