im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
