i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
