I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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