good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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