Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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