Yo dont text me then not text me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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