Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
