we're blogging at a bar
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
