problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
