I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So much rum. So many feels.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
