so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
