I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
