So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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