Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
