Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i was born a porn star she said
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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