I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
