I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
