exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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