Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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