Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
