you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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