I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
