Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Operation Purity has been aborted
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
