i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
