I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
