just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i now understand why vodka
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
