So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
