The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
