Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
