Midget sex pt 2 tonight
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize