dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
