Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
