One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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