Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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