talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
