before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
