You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
