well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
